At my neighborhood grocery, they know about easing the pains of recessionary economy. They also, apparently, have distribution contacts in Israel.

Buyer for Denny’s: Ahmed, the people of Flint are very hard hit by the turndown, how can you help us out?

Ahmed, Israeli Monday cereal distributor: Monday Cookies?

Hub brought this most excellent box of cereal home the other night, absolutely beaming with pride. This is something we occasionally have done in the past; buying groceries and cereal in particular, for the sheer entertainment value of the packaging. Once we drove up to Canada during the Winter Olympics to collect cereal boxes adorned with the faces of NHL players who were representing Canada in the games. Shanahan Crunch, Yzerman O’s, Messier Munchies- oh, and did you know that in Canada, milk comes in a bag? Yeah, so we bought some of that too, obviously. We also have a two box set of Gordie Howe cereal, with a full color rendering of the old Olympia, where the Red Wings played back before there were helmets, or instant cereals, for that matter.

Denny’s brings us a lot of joy, actually. I never shop there, but occasionally go in just to see what they are up to. They take lowering overheard to amazingly pride-less extremes. You can buy black bananas there, 8 cents a lb, if you are willing to cut a swath through the fruit flies to get to them. Denny is the master of selling the outdated gems of world, things that are so old that by law they cannot be sold to the public in their original packaging, and so have been stripped of their labels to avoid litigation. There will be a pyramid of brownish yellow saucy something in bottles, accompanied by a scrap of the original shipping carton and a sign that trumpets “Sweet and Spicy Mustard!!!- Outdated, But still GOOD!” Every sign in Denny’s has been amended with the “outdated, but still GOOD!” mantra, and the phrase itself has wormed its way into the daily language of my family.

Me: “Sammy, why didn’t you FLUSH?”
5 year old son: “Outdated, but still GOOD!”

Want some outdated, but still good milk? Check the freezer! It’s next to outdated, but still good frozen sandwich ham.

Oh. Snap.I just let Sammy eat a fist full of Monday Cookie, assuming (for some reason) that the Hebrew (and Kosher!) cereal was quirky only in its twisted blend of chocolate chip ethnic-ness. But is it still GOOD?

Oh, crap!

Thanks to the warm San Diego temperatures finally dipping to a brisk 64 degrees, the smell of cold is in the air and it means we are upon my favorite time of year:  Pumpkin-flavor season!

I’m currently gorging on my Halloween supply of Nerds, and my cupboard is stocked with Pumpkin bread mix and supplies for cooking warm and hearty things. In fact, it’s almost chilly enough to actually use my oven again, something I avoid in the summer because of the way it makes my whole apartment super muggy. I got to wear a hoodie while I ran errands after work today, and I wore workout pants instead of shorts at the gym yesterday.  I even turned off my ceiling fan last night! If it stays like this, I might actually wear SLEEVES to work tomorrow, I know, I know, this is crazy talk but it might just happen.

Tomorrow I’m going to my pal Megan’s to watch Vampire Diaries and drink wine, and we are going to eat soup with crusty bread. See, we need warm foods because it’s only 64 degrees here and we are all very chilly. Midwesterners, commence your hating in the comments section now, if you can take your fingers out of your mittens long enough to type, that is.

For the second year in a row, Made with Luv has been turned down for participation in the Detroit Urban Craft Fair at the Majestic Theater in Detroit.

Now look. Seriously, we belong there. Last year there was no one selling anything remotely like what we make, and the place was packed with people that looked (to me) like they were looking for us. Many consumers had that confused, morose look that only comes when you aren’t able to fill that need for octopus printed messenger bags and day of the dead throw pillows.

So today dawned a bit grayer than it should have. No matter how politely worded my message from them, it doesn’t take much reading between the lines to see “Sorry, we think you suck just a little bit too much to come down and vend your wares”

It’s time for some comfort food, people. For some people it’s chocolate or ice cream, but for me, it’s always, always cheese and carbs…

Made with Disappointment Mac N Cheese

(Warning: some of the ingredients you are about to read may upset the dietary sensibilities of health conscious individuals. Please bear in mind that this is serious comfort food, and must be consumed in moderation. As often as necessary.)

1 1lb box of BARILLA elbows (don’t substitute, they are the best)
Boil pasta in a roomy pot, full of boiling, salted water.

Did I mention that we were turned down last year too? I was super mad, and vowed only to attend in order to flip over the tables of anyone whose stuff looked remotely better than mine.

I later took the high road and shopped like a mother effer.

4 Tablespoons AP Flour
4 Tablespoons butter
3 cups WHOLE milk (don’t argue with me, and if you are really sad, you can substitute half and half for one of the cups of WHOLE milk)

In a medium sauce pan, on med high heat, melt the butter, stir in the flour, and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. While whisking, slowly pour in the WHOLE milk. Let it almost come to boil to thicken.

Did I tell you that I was going to buy a new sewing machine if I got into the DUCF? Yeah. I was.

4 cups + of your favorite cheese. I use a combo of Cheddar and Colby, maybe some Colby Jack, and if you live in Michigan, seriously consider Sharp Pinconning. Grate a little extra if you want to create a cheesy, melty middle layer (and you do).

While your white sauce is still hot, fold in the shredded cheeses. Stir until melted. Add salt to taste, also dry mustard if you like it, even hot sauce (although I think that’s better added when you serve it).

My kids really wanted us to get in too. It’s gonna be so sad when I have to tell them that their new magnet designs won’t be debuting in the Motor City.

Add your drained cooked pasta to the sauce, stir well, and turn half of it out into a 8x 13 baking dish. Layer in your extra cheese, if you shredded some, then pile on the rest of the mixture. Spread a couple of nice sized handfuls of cheese over the top.

Now from here, there are two ways you can go. If you like it solid and a little dryer, clinging together, pour another half cup of milk over the top and bake at 350 for 45-60 minutes. If you like it creamy, but with a nice brown and crunchy top, put it in for about 20-25 minutes at 425, just watch that it doesn’t get too brown. I recommend serving it with some kind of sausage…sounds a little weird, but I swear, there’s nothing better.

I just finished dinner, and I have to say, after hogging a good deal of the browned cheese topping, I do feel a lot better…getting ready for this show was gonna own me, it’s really better that I slow down for a little bit.

I guess the new sewing machine can wait. Please pass the sausage.

South Park Walkabout is this Saturday! All the stores in South Park will be open late, and they usually give out free wine or host some sort of special event. I’m excited to see what the new restaurant in the hood, Alchemy, will be doing. Fingers crossed for free tapas! I stopped in there recently and their food is awesome, so check it out if you haven’t yet.

Make sure to stop by Citizen Video- local band Paddleboat will be playing, and you can shop their awesome selection of homemade local crafts (featuring Made with Luv!) while you rent a dvd and enjoy the band. Then head over to Whistle Stop for booty basement and challenge me to a dance-off…if you can handle it!

Places I have found Nerds this week:

-bottom shelf of coffee table (3!)
-nestled in couch blanket ripple
-wallet, cash holder area
-wallet, coin holder area
-stuck to torso
-inside pajama shirt
-slipper (nope, that’s not a rock)
-under alarm clock
-inside mattress financing paper pile
-under desk

What can I say, they are slippery little suckers. I’m down to one little box left from my Halloween stash, and I started to panic, as I’m all about the mini box, not the large, but I quickly realized the Valentine’s boxes of mini Nerds are probably already in stores.  Problem.  Solved.

My mattress is from 1999.  Because of its advanced age, I have to flip it often to try and give it new life, as I’m not allowed to finance a new one until I finish paying for my couch (which, by the way, is firm and delightful to sleep on).  My friend was over the other day so I had him help me move it. And of course, something embarrassing shot out whilst flipping. What, you ask? Some proof of my wild sex life? Old undies? A murder weapon? If only.

No, I was betrayed by my beloved Nerds. I don’t even know how many fell out of the mattress crannies, it was just an embarrassingly long moment of hearing plink…plink.…plink..plink..PLINK as they dropped off and beat a trail across my hardwood floor. This coming so soon after waking up with mashed potatoes on my fingers and an Entertainment Weekly stuck to my arm is making me rethink this whole late-night-eating-in-bed thing.

Although now that I think about it, maybe my mattress isn’t the problem- I’m living my own verision of the Princess and the Pea, only with dozens of brightly colored candies in the co-starring role.

What George Bush has done to the Middle East, I do to the kitchen. It is well known and firmly established that if you are anywhere nearby (like in the living room, watching TV) You are going to be splattered, dusted, possibly even slashed or burnt by my cooking whirlwind. Seriously. When we cook together, my sister (culinary UN peacekeeper) just follows me around, setting knocked over things back up, wiping spills, and stitching up innocent bystanders. Not super fun for her, but since the frenzy almost always results in deliciousness (if I do say so myself) I get away with it.

This Thanksgiving, I was put in charge of Carbohydrates (yes they do, most definitely get capitalized, silly). I had to make dinner rolls for 25, homemade egg noodle dough and a pumpkin roll. I have always thought that the complaints about my cooking panache (people duck and cover when I say “Bam”) had been overblown, until I settled down for a post-flour hurricane cup of tea and took in my surroundings, and I knew they were not. My trusty kitchen companion, Betty the blue Kitchen-aid mixer, was panting and wheezing under a thick coat of AP flour and XXX sugar, and when I looked down at my socks, I discovered they had gone light gray under the same layer of powder. When I lifted the cuffs of my fleece pj’s, the true color- black- was revealed. Wow. I’m a monster.

I suppose that it shouldn’t take as long to clean up the kitchen as it is going to take to withdraw troops from Iraq, but I just don’t know any other way. I have tried to clean as I go, and slow down so that skinning potatoes doesn’t result in peelings on the windowsills and in the oven, but somewhere along the way I get caught up in the alchemy and wake up an hour later in a Haz-mat suit with a pounding headache. But I persevere. I step over the chalk outlines, and the moaning people in them to deliver my delicious democracy to the heathen people

Mission Accomplished.

I guess my sub-conscious is really upset about all the eating and non-exercising I did over the holiday weekend, because last night I had a dream where Jillian Michaels, a trainer on The Biggest Loser, gave me and another chubster a lecture where she told us that the movie theatre’s giant size soda cups of Diet Sprite are actually 10,000 calories each. She said that in this case, the word “diet” is misleading and we need to learn how to read nutritional labels better. Um, thanks Jillian.

I cannot believe I dreamed myself into one of those promotional bits they do on that show, like where they all learn the magic of Extra’s sugar-free gum, how the combo of Jello and fat-free Cool Whip makes a 60-calorie banana split (um, right), or the many ways in which Ziploc bags can change your life. Apparently my “ad” was paid for by the good people at Diet 7-Up.

I realize I’m not exactly blessed with a wealth of culinary knowledge, but did I really truly just log into the intraweb’s search feature and type in the phrase “how to bake chicken?” Seriously?! Am I new?

Well, as someone’s Nana possibly said once: Better Safe than Salmonella.

(Ok let me end the suspense- 350 degrees for about 25 minutes or until, well, cooked. You are welcome.)

I was eating dinner the other night and it was so good I had to put on my beret and write a poem about it. However, I was in a fog of cheese-induced laziness so I downgraded the ambition of my passion to a Haiku:

Delicious orange cheese
Your tub never disappoints
Spoon of wheat completes