Last night I went dancing with some buddies. The DJ was not very skilled- he’d play a good song then totally and abruptly switch to something crappy, right at the height of the song everyone was loving.

So while a full dance floor is bouncing and screaming out “Just a small town boy, born and raised in south Detroit….” and waiving their cells in the air, totally loving it and in the palm of the DJ’s hand, he suddenly stops the song and switches to one of the worst songs in the world, I don’t know who sings it or what the lyrics are really except it goes “One more night” and- argh, I don’t know how to explain music very well- it’s sort of electronic-y and just AWFUL and about as far away from Journey as you can get.

As the crowd all left the floor at once, I had the following conversation which made me realize that my friends and I are both 1. old and 2. have questionable taste ourselves

ME: Wow you’d think if he was going to stop a good song in the middle that he’d at least play another good song
AMY: Yeah…like Baby Got Back at least
LARRY: Or Love Shack!

All was forgiven 20 minutes later when the DJ played “Push It” and we got to do the Roger Rabbit dance.

I was on vacation last week in Austin (more on that later) and apparently the airplane germs hid out in my carry-on, because I’m super sick right now.

I took some sort of nighttime decongestant at 4:45, I was passed out drooling on the couch by 5:20, and at 6:15 my bladder started trying to wake me up, first with a whisper, then with a yell, then by throwing my spleen at my rib cage (it’s crrrazy up inside me) but I was so doped up that I almost managed to shut it out. Finally at 7:30 I was able to struggle up and out of my haze to hit the bathroom. And thank goodness, because I’ve only had my couch for a week and I really would prefer for the first accident on it to be a wine spill, not a bladder one.  

Sadly, I’m still totally congested. Is the point of that stuff just so you sleep for three days and wake up after the cold has naturally left your body anyway? Tricks!

It is safe to say that the FCH Spring Craft Market was a huge success. Big thanks to the ladies of FCH~ Crystal Pepperdine, Jessica Nicola, Michelle Stolz, and Tracey Whelpley for putting together an event that exceeded expectations. The floor stayed packed with customers all day, the vendors were varied and massively talented as a whole, and the mood was so easy breezy that at least one customer turned impromptu busker on the front sidewalk (thanks Corey!) I was spastic with joy all day, and would like to take this opportunity to apologize to anybody that I took hostage with my stream of consciousness prattle. I can only hope that you didn’t see the near hysteria in my eyes and took me as eccentric and fun. It’s a stretch, but still I hope.

I would like to say that I stayed strong and didn’t spend any money until I had made some, but the truth of the matter is, I set up my first purchase weeks earlier after visiting Chainchainchained’s store on Etsy. She has a style that I just love, gritty but sweet. She isn’t making stuff that you see every day, and her things have an appeal that is instant and mysterious. I found her whilst “pouncing”, discovered we would be doing the same fair, and a couple of weeks later, these cool earrings are mine. My friend Tanya won this awesome bracelet from her in a raffle.

Everyone around here knows (except for the man himself, possibly) that KillTaupe is my crafting hero. His stuff is perfect, and so pervasive to me that I have had to limit my visits to his Myspace, and don’t go near his Etsy store at all. This is not to say that you should do the same. Stef is a customer of KillTaupe, buying his hilarious and twisted “Night of the Living Dead” magnet collection. His stuff is bent, skewed, and executed with amazing precision: it’s Martha Stewart clean and perfect, and John Waters hilarious. It’s nearly impossible to choose from his amazing collection of work, but so much fun. I bought this magnet, which only begins to speak on the joy of being politically incorrect using adorableness. Go to his store and check out his Tourette’s addled Broccoli. You won’t be sorry.

Across the way from me sat Kristen Billings of BUZZBUZZ Designs. She is taking vintage jewelry apart bit by bit and from spinning enamel and Lucite gold from it. Her eye for color is sublime and her penchant for detail even better. Her things are clean, delicate and expectedly beautiful. I spent the day admiring one thing after another, but finally could no longer deny her “Amazing Mayzie”earrings. Loyal readers will note the irony in my buying earrings that were inspired by Seuss.

I’m a t-shirt girl. Ellembee is making some beautiful t-shirts. Lisa of Ellembee used to design bedding out there in Cali, but has turned her talents to designing and silk-screening gorgeous ideas onto comfy, sexy shirts. She hopes to be able to make a living at it, and I foresee nooooo problems. I bought the aqua one, and won the grey~ I love em both!

Finally, I got this freaking Adorable change purse/pouchy monster from Woolly Thinking. I saw him early on, resisted, and sat in a flop sweat for 45 minutes fearing someone would buy him first. Don’t you think that non-buyers remorse is way worse than buyer’s remorse? Well, that’s my defense, it works for me! I can’t decide if I like him better zipped or unzipped- whatcha think?   

All in all, a good day indeed. Thanks to all who made this one of the best days ever!

I love the concept of earth day, but in the same way I love toaster strudel. I had a toaster strudel once, but the convenience and lifetime habit of eating pop tarts quickly eclipsed the happy experience, and the toaster strudel is now admired, but not really part of my breakfast life… and my breakfast life is the worse for it, I think.

That being said, in a rather tangent fashion, this earth day we actually did something. I did it, and the huge four children footprint that I will never be forgiven for actually did something. It wasn’t much, nothing that will begin to balance, say,  the gallons of water that ran down the bathroom drain before I realized that Sammy had taken to letting the faucet run full blast while he stuck a drinking straw into the stream to get just one of his two thousand drinks of the day.

Am I digressing again? Sorry. One of Flint’s community colleges hosted an Earth Day festival, and one of the events was a recycled art project. 50% of the finished piece was to be composed of recycled material, but because I am an anal twit with a Martha Stewart complex, I wanted mine to be 100% which it was, if you don’t count hot glue, and I don’t.

I won’t lie, one of the pluses of this contest was that my hub was going to be entering too, and I wanted to reduce, reuse, and recycle his smug butt. He has won art shows and contests, and I’ll admit, I have a bit of a complex. I had dreams of someone wanting to purchase my recycled art and hang it up somewhere public, as happened to him when U of M bought one of his large pieces to hang in their library. Where his is hung in a rarely used conference room, however, I wanted mine to be hung over the mantle on Good Morning America, gazing down on interviews of Lawrence Fishburn and booted Dancing with the Stars contestants. Never doubt that I can turn the most altruistic idea into an AllaboutAmy fest.

I guess what I lost sight of (among other things), was the fact that the contest had a children’s division, and really was sorta geared toward them, and with good reason. They stole the show. My little footprints got up bright and early on the morning of the contest, and whipped some inspired crap with the hot glue and scrap wood. And they pretty much mopped the floor with us at the contest. Okay, granted, since Sam was the only 3-year-old entered, and thus had to have a special division created just for him, he obviously walked away with first place for his take on a houseboat. Lily, the 8-year-old, made an awesome diorama-esque landscape, complete with smiling acorn lion and stylized grove of trees, and nabbed third place. Ava (age 5), always in touch with the latest trends, combined adorable and edgy and came up with an overjoyed wooden robot. First place.

And what of the battle of the parents, you ask? Well, I have to admit it, I spanked him. He didn’t place at all, and was forced to come up with qualifying remarks, like “Well, if the person who had done the judging had had an art background…blah blah blah”. Let me just say, luckily for me, they did not. However, although the judges had an eye for beauty and were undeniably drawn to mine enough to give me third, the deep pockets of ABC did not come through and pay to have said beauty adorn the set of GMA. I understand that the possibility of the artwork overshadowing the talents of the on air personalities is always an issue. I suspect that is what came into play here. I’ll just have to be happy with being ridiculously proud of myself and the kids for beating the crap out of their Pop tart.

The kids’ art:

My Art:

Ryan’s Art:

Okay, I don’t know what the plan of action is at Trader Joe’s, but they are making more mistakes than George Bush and Paula Abdul put together.

In my humble opinion, the real jewel in the crown of Trader Joe is the freezer section, where you are able to find many delights to soothe your gourmet addled palate. What could be better than gourmet food that you can freeze until jonesing, then defrost and savor in organic/vegan/vegetarian goodness? Nothing is better, I tell you, nothing! The myriad of delicacies studding the ample freezer case would paint a perfect picture, were it not for a dirty, evil tendency of Trader Joe. He revels in surprising you with deliciousness; smiles over you as you fantasize of orgasmic movie night food, waits until you are lulled into a glowing state of noshing security, than SHAZAAM ! He arbitrarily discontinues an item that you have learned it is impossible for you to exist without.

I smirked when Stef lost her beloved Soba noodle bowl, not really feeling her pain. I commiserated with her when she mourned the loss of her red mole sauce, but still really did not think it could happen to me, well, SHAZAAM ! I, sweet, trusting I floated to the freezer section last week, all a tingle with dreams of stockpiling boxes and boxes of my beloved lettuce wraps, manna from heaven to get me through the rough patch of eating light and healthy at lunch time til I lose 15 pounds. Well, Joe, that dirty bastard, had other ideas. It took a while for the realization to sink in. I kept trolling, trolling, before I started to get the sneaking suspicion that old Trader Joe was looking on from the surveillance system chuckling and rubbing his raspy little palms together.

Snatched from the freezer case of my life forever are my beloved, beloved lettuce wraps. The stock boy was unable to explain the motives of Joe, merely shrugging and saying that his ways are varied and mysterious. Well, not in those exact words, but to be honest, in my grief, he could have said anything, all I could hear was a roaring in my ears and belly. And so, as has become the custom, I offer you a haiku, in honor of the dearly departed. It’s all I can do, and stage number 4 of the grieving process.

Vanished from the frost
Extinct jewel of yum
Lunch, my tummy, robbed

Looking to lose weight? Me too!  But really, if I lost that weight, what goals would I have to focus on then? Probably something even harder and more difficult. Also, what common ground would I have with my other cushy friends? We’d probably drift apart, leaving me sad and lonely, and I’ll turn to food for comfort anyway. Better to just talk about doing it than to actually succeed, really.  Lucky for you, I have many, many suggestions on how to keep things status quo. Here are a few:

Monday
1. Go to strength training class. Feel TERRIFIC afterwards- you are off to a great start, this is the week you get it all under control!
2. Eat pasta.
3. Go meet up with a friend you haven’t seen in about 8 months. Go to a wine bar and devour a cheeseboard and a lot of wine…hey, you walked to the bar so that makes it okay! Put wine in empty coffee cup for walk home.

Tuesday
1. Skip step aerobics because you are too hung over from Monday night for any kind of bouncing or turning- oh God, the turning. No way can you “curb walk” or “scissor over, shuffle home” without getting very very sick.
2. Decide to get inspired by watching The Biggest Loser season finale. Have your friend bring over a pizza, two bottles of wine, and cookies. The cookies are vegan though so hey, well, no, they are still cookies. Cry through your cheese soaked fingers as you witness all the amazing transformations; vow to do push-ups tomorrow

Wednesday
1. Load up on carbs to prepare for those push-ups you are going to do. Get distracted by something shiny, don’t do push-ups.

Thursday is practically the weekend so eat whatever you want.

Friday, vow to get back on track on Monday.

I went to a baby shower last weekend for my friend Jenn and her husband Jesse. They are doing their nursery in an ocean theme and I found the cutest fish fabric to make things for them. It wasn’t easy- turns out most ocean fabric is either Finding Nemo, Little Mermaid or super creepy style with fish that are so realistic and downright scary. Anyway, I found this cute fabric and I made them a blanket with blue minky on the back, and some bibs with a red background. Oh and some burb cloths of course!

*click on the thumbnails to see the bigger photo

I also spent quite a bit of time knitting this patchwork style blanket, out of colors I felt were oceany.

THEN! The best part- my drinking crafting buddy Knotty Melody whipped up these bad-ass creatures. The manta ray is my favorite, although I love them all.

I also put together a package just for Jesse, featuring this great fabric. Tiny chocolate-colored skulls on a teal background- a great combination of hard and soft!

So yeah, invite me to your baby shower but not if you expect me to buy from your registry!

The second Loop Social Circle is coming up this Sunday, April 13th. The Loop is a crafting group, centered in the Metro Detroit area. Top find out more about them, check them out on Myspace @ www.myspace.com/loopdetroit. Once again, the afternoon of crafting, noshing and gabbing will take place at the fabulous Woodward Avenue Brewery in Ferndale, MI.

Last month, I attended the first Social Circle, adorned in my normal paranoia and bedecked in the trappings of my way too wild imagination. I was so freaked by the prospect of putting myself out there; I nearly rationalized (if you can call any of my brains inner workings “rational”) my self out of it. Never mind that I’m basically on a deserted craft island, with only a pincushion named Wilson to joke with as I work merrily along.

Here is an excerpt of the email that I sent off to Stef after emerging on the other side of the afternoon, safe and sound after all:

   Okay, I’ll give you the run down, cuz you know I rocked it dork style. I’m a nervous wreck the night before, wake up at 5 am, etc. I’m crazy and hyper all morning. We go down to Lacey’s (note to you dear reader; Lacey is my sister-in-law, she lives in Ferndale also) at noon for her housewarming, Of course I’m all crazy here too, and am unable to accurately describe to the curious family what Ryan and I are going to, which makes me more nervous about it. Every time I try to explain it, it sounds dumber! It IS dumb! I shouldn’t even go! It’s rude to leave a party in the middle! I decide not to go (at least the 12th time I’ve made this decision) at about 1:40, Ryan (hey reader - Ryan is my husband) comes up and is like, “should we go?”(In case you doubted at all, of course I made him go!) And I bite his head off, because the thought of going is threatening to give me nervous gas, maybe even (Gasp) diarrhea! “I don’t want to be super EARLY!” I nearly scream, and make a run for the bathroom.

     Anyway, at 2:05, we leave. I’m so paralyzed by nervousness that I can’t breathe or talk in the car. Besides, I’m super busy running scenarios through my head, like all the girls will be Chrissie Hynde style rock and roll girls, or they will be doing, like airbrushing and welding and I will have to hunch in a chair and construct felt cupcake magnets while they continuously roll their eyes and do lewd things to me behind my back. I try to come up with an escape plan that doesn’t make me look weird, and since I can’t, I don’t want to get out of the car. BUT we do go in, of course. I have NO idea what I will say, or if I will just go in and sit down……? Should I introduce myself to someone? I have NOOOOO idea.

     What happens is this… (I’m a dork) I walk into the middle of the room and look around at everyone and say “Hi! I don’t know anyone… I’m new….I’m from Flint, there was nothing going on up there, so I thought I would come down here and see what you were doing” it feels like there was a huge silence, but I think immediately everyone started talking to me. The girl right in front of me was from Flint City Handmade, and she gives me a flyer and a bumper sticker. I sit near her, and introduce Ryan, which definitely gives me something to do, and the next 2 and half hours fly past in warp speed. Everyone is dealing with similar dilemmas, (want to craft, but what to make? how much do I charge? how do I sell? where do I sell? am I even good at this?) Some of the girls did initially seem too cool for school, but turned out to be super friendly. Everyone mingled around, checking out everyone else’s stuff and chatting. Plus, duh, beer! Everyone had kind of been checking everyone else out on myspace, so when someone would be like “do you know…”, someone else would at least have an idea about who they were referring to and we spent a good deal of time constructing a crafting family tree of sorts, figuring out who everyone was from the etsy store names and profile names and such.

     Anyhow, all in all, it was super fun, and now I feel like that is potentially one of the scariest things I could do, craftwise, so now nothing else is half as scary (for now).

So that’s the way it was, and don’t think for a moment I don’t have crazy crap flying around up there about this next one…because I do. I’m really looking forward to it though, and am so glad I went. If you are anywhere in the area, think about coming. You can work on stuff, gawk at what everyone else is up too, just generally hang with fun and creative peeps in a bar all Sunday afternoon. What’s bad about that?

*Yawn! Ok, the North Park Craft Mafia’s Spring Line Up event has been over for a week now, but I’m STILL exhausted. I have to say, I’ve been in craft shows before, but now that I know how damn hard they are to put together, I will never complain about a booth fee being too high again. 

My brain is still too fried to get too detailed, but basically the day was freaking awesome. We had over 50 vendors, three bands, a fashion show, craft and drawing demos, and just the coolest people both as crafters and shoppers. 

I had a minor stress breakdown a few days before the event where I couldn’t do anything but worry that no one would attend. Like we spent months doing all this work and no one would come and the vendors would all be pissed and it would be the worst thing ever.   Well, I was wrong. Over 1000 people attended the event. It was totally busy and crazy!  

I sold a few pillows and some of Amy Kate’s bibs and magnets, but as usual I bought WAY more than I sold. It was impossible not to- over 50 super awesome artists selling their wares, and not like I can just pop over to Target to buy one of these things if I still wanted it the next day, right? RIGHT?!   So now, on to the important things- the shopping! 

First up, I bought this beautiful skirt from Random Nicole. I wish you could touch it to see how soft it is. It’s a soft brushed fabric with a cute little owl on it. It will be perfect with sandals and one of my tank tops this summer.   

Next, I got this awesome pillow from Angie of Pixelknits. How great is it?! She machine knits, which involves math, so naturally I’m very impressed. The pillow is super squishy and has a zipper so I can get the cover washed. Nice!  

I also got this great headband, and I totally forgot who I bought it from. What a jerk! I’m extra sad about that because it’s awesome, holds my hair back and doesn’t slip around too much. But I can’t buy more since I forgot from whom I bought it.  

Hee ok how great is this one-sie? I got it from Dot the I Creations. My friends are having their first baby, and I made a bunch of stuff for her but also am putting a gift bag together for him. I think he’ll really really enjoy dressing his kid in this and passing the blame for his drinking habit. 

I don’t have a photo, but I also bought really yummy yet soothing lip balm from Naiad Soaps. If I had known it was going to work so well I would have picked up a bunch more!  

And finally, I bought these fabulous prints from Steph of Hearts&Laserbeams. She must be sorta insane, because what normal person would dream up and create Dracula and Frankenstein’s school photos? Of course I love them so much! I can’t look at them without smiling huge. Maybe I should hang them above my sink full of dirty dishes so to distract from my pain. And the Robot puking is #3 in a series that starts with him drinking, then moves to him wearing a lampshade on his head, then this one where all the fun comes spewing out of him. It’s AWESOME. 
  
 

 After all this I thought I’d get a few weeks off before I had to sew anything again- but turns out Amy Kate got accepted into Flint City Handmade on May 3^rd, so I gotta get back to the craftin!

THANKS AGAIN TO ALL MY HOMIES IN THE NORTH PARK CRAFT MAFIA. JOB WELL DONE, LADIES!