Oh Snap!!

Comedy Central is showing a roast of Bob Saget Sunday night at 10 pm. I cannot wait! However, I will have a dvr conflict thanks to both Mad Men and Army Wives (shut up) playing at the same time, so I need someone to invite me over to watch this. I’ll bring the wine!

John Stamos is hosting and I hear there are a lot of nasty Olsen Twin jokes. It’s going to be excellent.

A few years back my day job started letting me work at home. Because I love TV, I’d have my television on all day as background noise and each show change would help tick off the hours. I knew it was time for lunch when All My Children started, and I knew it was time for my afternoon snack when Dr. Phil started yapping.

At one point I stumbled across a Full House rerun. Since I was in the middle of an online meeting at the moment, I didn’t get up to find the remote and just let it play. I realized it was the first episode, which I had never seen. I watched it. Then again the next day. And the next. Before long the first episode aired again and I had completed the awesome accomplishment of seeing EVERY EPISODE of Full House. Oh yeah! In your Face! Total triumph, yet I never got so much as a t-shirt for my troubles. And oddly, bragging about this feat gets me about as many dates as the guy who brags about seeing Star Wars 400 times gets. In other words- none.

Do you guys know Mark Montano? I know him from TLC shows While You Were Out and 10 Years Younger. He’s been on other shows as well, is a fashion designer, author of multiple craft/decorating books and written columns for Cosmo Girl and other publications.

He has a new book out called Big Ass Book of Crafts. It’s pretty great; the projects are varied, with easy instructions and supplies that are not expensive or too odd to be able to get easily.

So anyway, last week at our North Park Craft Mafia meeting we were brainstorming ideas for our next newsletter and we decided that I would myspace him and ask if he’d do an interview for us.

Now, I can’t lie- it is a fact that we are a pretty awesome group (our first big show had a turn-out of over 900 people, giving us immediate street cred as a group who knows how to organize and promote an event!) but still- we aren’t exactly some big ass national publication, so I would have understood if he said no.

Well, he didn’t turn us down, ‘cuz Mark is all about supporting his homies-in-craft! My mafia friend Sarah and I came up with a big list of questions and emailed them off. We had quite a few so I told him to just pick his favorites if he didn’t have time to answer them all.

Um, I sent those off Tuesday night and when I opened my email Wednesday morning I found an email from him with answers to ALL our questions. Plus he sent photos for us to use with the article as well.

How awesome is that?! He totally treated us as if we were Craft or Entertainment Weekly or some other big time publication. If I wasn’t already a fan of his I would certainly be now. So don’t be surprised this Christmas if your gift from me is either something I made or Big Ass Book of Crafts so you can learn to make things yourself!

Click on the picture of his book to check it out and read more about it!

Mark’s interview won’t be out for a few weeks and I’ll link to it then, but in the meantime click here to check out our current newsletter.

I’ve been experimenting with zippered pouches in hopes of adding them to the product line. I’m making different sizes and some with a strap long enough to hang off your wrist, some with small straps to just hook a thumb or finger through, and some with no straps at all, clutch-style. They are fully lined. I think they are great for make-up, writing tools, to protect cell phones or cameras from dirt, or to just put money/id/lipstick/keys in when you are running out but don’t want to carry your full bag.

What do you think? Any suggestions on sizes or strap preferences you’d like to offer up? What would you pay for something like this? I’d love some feedback as I refine and experiment with these.

I know this is late news, but I was offline for a few days, days in which the hilarious Bernie Mac died.

I LOVE Bernie Mac. His stand-up is crazy, and his sitcom was laugh-out-loud funny. Plus he’s been married to his wife for like 30 some years, which I just think is nice.

Although his “ohhh lord” face is awesome, my favorite thing about him was his sad puppy face. I looked all over the internet and could not find a picture to illustrate, but it’s the face he would make when he was in trouble, the face where his head was tilted down but his big brown eyes would be looking up, all sad and mournful.

This is the EXACT same face my old dog Lucy used to make in two different situations:

1. When she’d come home and lick my face and I’d suddenly realize she’d been in the canyon eating the poop of other animals and she knew that I knew her shame and was waiting for me to yell at her, she’d bust out that look with the sad eyes so I could only be a little mad.

Or

2. When she would tangle with a skunk, get sprayed and have to take a tomato juice bath to reduce the stink and would then have the nerve to LICK the juice off her while she was being bathed, she’d look up with those eyes all “sorry I’m stupid enough to mess with a skunk and also that I’m so pathetic that I’m going to lick this juice off me ‘cuz I can’t resist putting something gross in my mouth.”

Awww. Bernie Mac and Lucy, they were each super funny and lovely. I will miss them both. 

As perverse as it sounds, there are some bright, sunny, summer mornings that I wake up and want nothing more than to look out the window and see a foot of snow, an impending blizzard cloud, and a bracing winter wind forbidding any exit from the house.

Being a Midwesterner in the summer is a little like I imagine it’s like being Catholic. Guilt ridden. For with great weather comes great responsibility. When you only have some 100 or so reliably non-bipolar summer days coming to you in a year, the duty to not waste an hour becomes unbearably heavy.

So, in order to deserve the summer, we fill it with enough activity that there is no way we could possibly enjoy any of it. The first day that we are able to drive on the expressway with the window down and not get an earache, the marathon begins. Due to the frantic nature of the situation, picnics and barbecues are stacked, Tetris-like, to enable 7 separate families to host their own uniquely identical soirees every weekend. Pools must be filled and maintained so that they look pristine, although every second pool is too glacial to swim in until August, and the others are in the backyards of people too grown to enjoy being wet outside the shower. I myself put in and maintain(barely) a garden so large that it now encompasses not only my own backyard, but 200 square feet of my next door neighbor’s backyard as well. Home Depot and Lowe’s begin to buzz with a fever that is almost hysterical, audible from my driveway, 15 miles away.

By August, we are all as grumpy as Christmas Day; overworked, underappreciated, exhausted, and just dying inside for a reason to curl up in a chair and watch Bill Murray movies all day long. Even “A Life Aquatic”. We just want the relentless sun to go away and stop looking at us like that. We want the pleasant breeze to keep its hands to itself already. We know you are beautiful, Summer! We know you are rare and special! But the truth of the matter is, you are also a pushy, passive-aggressive bitch, Summer, and we need to see other weather! We want to wear a sweater! We want to eat Stew!

Oh geez. Please don’t be mad Summer…I love you. I mean it. Thank you for the tomatoes and the fireflies. I don’t deserve you, I know. You rock, okay? Love you!

When the Michigan girls came to visit a few weeks ago we ended up having two impromptu dance parties at my place. My San Diego friends were a part of it too and basically my little apartment was taken over by flailing arms and dangerous high kicks.

Gretchen happened to be taking video on her camera when Matt decided to bust out his best moves. AND in the course of busting his moves, he totally busted his pants. Gretchen was laughing too hard to get a close-up of the big rip in his jeans on video, so check out the photo to the left for the proof.  Check out his moves that led to the ruined pants in the video below- it’s AWESOME!

Yes ladies, he’s single, straight and has smooth moves. I do believe he’s available for parties and will work for Pacifico.

Spoiler Alert! Dance Party Ends with Split Pants

This one is going to be HOT! Aug 3 at the Ken Club!

The San Diego North Park Craft Mafia is pleased to be having a special Sunday, Crafty Sunday show at the Ken Club in the heart of Kensington, San Diego. This event will be done summer style — HOT bands, HOT burlesque ladies, HOT prizes, and as always, HOT vendors and their crafty wares! Come out and cool off with a cocktail while you peruse the fancy items for sale, and rock out with fantastic entertainment.

We will be there from 12 to 8 pm, but make sure you get there early — the first 50 people in the door will receive a free gift bag!

Sunday, Crafty Sunday- Summer Edition
August 3rd
12 pm to 8 pm
The Ken Club
4079 Adams. Ave.
San Diego, CA  92116
21 & up - $5 cover

Check out this awesome baby blanket I made. The front has 9 panels of Our Lady of Guadalupe fabric and the back is cozy black flannel.

What baby wouldn’t want to be wrapped up in the blessed virgin? I mean, really.

I have two big ones plus two smaller 4-panel ones that will be great for wrapping infants and using as floor padding, like when you are changing diapers on someone else’s carpet.

Now, my fabric picking skills are way better than my photographic gifts, but you’ll get the idea:

And here is a close-up of a couple panels. The fabric has such lovely details! 

I can’t wait to see if they are a hit on the craft fair circuit!

Well, my vacation is over. The girls are gone. I am back to my day job. I’m sad. I know vacations wouldn’t probably mean as much if you were on one permanently, but sometimes I wish they’d last a lot longer than they usually do.

Goodbye girls. We’ll always have Booty Basement.

The blog is going to be dark for a few days, because I’m going to be busy with my FIVE FRIENDS FROM MICHIGAN! Yes, five! I am so excited, like crazy going-to-run-in-circles-around-my-coffee-table-then-fall-down-and-barf excited.

My friends never get to visit me out here in California- most of them have kids and families and obligations that don’t allow such trips. So the fact that they banded together and are coming as a group is just awesome and we are going to have the most fun ever!

The guests:

Amy Kate- you all know her, she’s my co-blogger, partner in craft, and wicked cool mom of four. I met her through our mutual friend Barb way back when I was 19 or 20, so we are talking a good 14 years ago. I was underage, but my association with her old ass got me into bars, no questions asked. The summer I lived with her was so jammed packed with adventures- we both had exciting romances going on, plus we constantly had hilarious run-ins with the local white trash. I wish we were blogging back in ‘95 because you would be reading sooo many stories about our neighbors either barfing or peeing on things, or both if they were multi-tasking.

Anna- I met Anna sometime in Junior High, but didn’t really become friends with her until High School. We really bonded in Spanish class when we would sing Wilson Phillips’ songs to torture each other and fight about who had to be “the fat one”.  When I think of a young Anna, I see stir-up pants, an oversize sweater (quite possibly a Christmas one, despite the month), a turtleneck and a banana clip. Has much changed? Hold on for one more day, and we’ll see.

Gretchen- Grettie and I have been friends since 7th grade. We’ve seen each other’s finest stupid high school moments. She was there for me after I decided my first alcoholic drink should be imbibed during a Whiskey drinking content. She was there through my grounding, the breaking of my punishment, and my re-grounding. Likewise, I supported her during her punishment after she and some other girls all played the “I’m staying at so-and-so’s house” game so they could go drink Lite beers at the lake with some skeezy dudes. Of course they all got busted when one of them confessed all to her mom, who then called the other moms.

Emily- Emily and I went to “gifted” elementary school together, which is kinda hilarious to me now. Our school taught things like how to read a compass and make rockets. Maybe it was “special” in a different way than how my parents described? We lived in different school districts so junior high came and tore us apart, but we were reunited (and it felt so good!) in 11th when she showed up at my high school. Of course, I still kind of hate her for waltzing in, a new girl, and immediately becoming a popular cheerleader. Hmmphh. Luckily she’s hilarious and sweet so “they” couldn’t steal her away from me. She became friends with Gretchen and Anna at this point, so the three of us go waaay back.

Tanya- she’s the new girl! I’ve only met her in person once, but the power of myspace has allowed me to enjoy her humor and get to know her better. She met Anna and became friends with the other girls, and now they all do things all the time without me and I get to read about them on myspace. Le Sigh. Tanya is a Jazzercise instructor and I hope she’s prepared for all the awesome calories she’s going to take in this weekend. As the “new girl” she might have to survive hazing rituals such as having her bra frozen. Hilarity!

I have big plans for these ladies- beach time, eating, boozing, dancing, bbq, drinking, sitting, more drinking. And I can’t wait for them to meet all my San Diego friends, although combining my two worlds is going to be so surreal! What happens when Michigan Gretchen meets San Diego Gretchen? Does the universe just fold in on itself? OH boy, I can’t wait to find out.

Hopefully I have some great stories for you all after they leave, and ideally none of them will feature the hospital or jail as a setting, but only time will tell.